Randomness at it's finest

Darin is insisting that I write a blog but knowing I can't write as well as Darin, I don't want to embarrass myself, but here goes.

India so far-----

It has been very interesting being a white woman here in India that is for sure. My experience has been very eye opening and unnerving. Back in the states the color of my skin doesn't get me very many looks but here I get intense, bewildered, curious, blank, and/or amazed stares that if possible, would drill a hole right through me. Darin has had to literally step in and block some of them because it was to much. It's only a problem when we are sitting somewhere, so I'm a stationary target. While on the move I don't notice it that much. I have also gotten some laughs and lots of smiles, mostly from the kids. When they see me coming I here yelling and what I think they're saying is “come here quick, look at this” in Hindi to their friends. I'll receive smiles and stares but when I wave or say “hello” I get even bigger smiles and giggles. A young boy ran into me at the train station the other day and when he turned around to see who he ran into he started laughing. He kept turning around, as he walked away, to look at me and of course grinning ear to ear and saying something I couldn't understand. He thought that was so funny.

We have lots of security guards running around our apartment complex and several more out at the gated entrance. They are all men and when we first moved in here they wouldn't talk to me or look at me. I started making a point to make sure that my “hello” or “good evening” was heard and now they say “good evening madam” or “hello madam”. If they find out what he is doing here in India it becomes “yes captain” or “good evening captain sir”. I guess they just needed to learn that Darin isn't going to beat them up for talking to me. There is a restaurant here at the apartments and I have had to train with waiters as well. When we first moved in they would completely ignore me when I would tell them what I wanted. I had to tell Darin what I wanted and he in turn told the waiter. Now that they know us the wait staff will take the order from me.

Speaking of food, the food here is really good. Your choices would be veg or non-veg. Non-veg of course would be chicken or fish. You also have the choice of spicy or spicy! The french fries have chilli powder on them, KFC chicken is spicy, even the Cheetos have some spice to them. When I get home I'm going to Jake's for ribs, KFC for mashed potatoes, and Chihuahua's for tacos. About the only food that tastes about the same as the states is the Oreo McFlurry. One word describes that flurry, wonderful! Oh and they import their apples from Washington, which I find hilarious.

I have been riding my bike a little more frequently. There is a route Darin showed me that works really well for staying away from the roads and all the crazy drivers. This route consists of paved road then dirt trail, then a little more paved road to the village. Riding through the village is a great eye opener. I see people bathing in the median of the street, using a bucket of water they heated over a fire, which was still flaming on the shoulder. I see pigs foraging for food in the garbage, cows trying to find any piece of greenness they can to munch on and goats climbing on the giant rocks placed by God's hand many, many years ago. After the village I take a left and I'm on the dike. There are women walking this dirt road carrying bundles of sticks, sacks of food, and other items on their heads. There are old men riding their, older than they are, single speed bikes too. I can't help but wonder where these people are going. This dusty path wanders its way through field after field. People are tending to their crops or animals or on their way to somewhere with their goods. It is mostly old school farming over here, where they use cows to pull the plow, but there are some tractors too. Even though there is a haze on the horizon, it is still a nice ride. There is very little garbage out here and only the occasional smell of burning plastic. Anyway, I eventually end up at the freeway which is where I turn around and enjoy the ride back.

This is all I have for now. I don't do to much because it gets to hot outside to do anything. I stay in the air conditioned apartment playing on my computer, reading, napping, watching tv, or doing domestic chores. I am looking forward to the days that are cooler, which should be in a month or so. When things cool off a bit then Darin and I can do more exploring without suffering heat stroke. More adventures to come.

These boots are made for walking.

Interesting things happen while you're in Sweden, as I found out today. Let me set the stage for you. 

My weary feet were crying out in torment from every step I took. They were getting more and more agitated that I was not taking 'steps' to sit and rest a bit. Finally, off in the distance, roughly estimated 1.3km ahead, I spotted a nice sitting area in the middle of the street. It wasn't a car driving street, mind you, but a walking, look in the window of the shops street. I think my feet saw the bench first, actually, cause the rest of my body was going in the other direction when my feet turned and headed that way. After re-stabilizing my torso, we headed there at a fast, hobbling walk. Each step taking us closer to bliss and happiness. Or so we thought. As I drew closer to the benches, I noticed that there were actually about three of them arranged in a little circle. They resembled someone's attempt at modern art and were shaped like little tadpoles. I plopped myself down on one of them, immediately receiving a sigh of relief from my feet. My body begin to relax as I sat there watching the people stream up and down the street. It was pretty busy today. My tadpole bench was about 8 feet long and I was sitting about 12 inches from one of the ends. On the other end was a lady resting her complaining feet also. She was facing the other way though and not looking in my direction. There was about a 5 foot gap between us. I only mention this because it's important.

I was just starting to think of leaving my tadpole bench, but hadn't quite figured out how to excite and motivate my feet into action yet. As I was contemplating my plan of attack and method of feet trickery, someone plopped right down beside me. I mean, right down beside me! In fact, looking back on the action, not only was there considerable touching involved, but this person actually sat on me a bit. Who would sit half on the 12 inches remaining of my tadpole bench and half on me? Especially when there was a nice center section completely open! The person's action of practically sitting on my lap, caused my head to turn to assess the situation and a slight body hop and shift to the right to give just a bit more room between us. As I looked, involuntarily of course, the true nature of my perpetrator was revealed to me; a girl! Not just any girl; a young, good looking girl.  She looked slightly Swedish to me, but I couldn't be sure.  I was sure of one thing though; trouble!

This can't be good, I thought. My mind started racing. As boys, we are taught fundamental truths early on in life.  One of these is that girls are troublemakers.  This was not going to be an exception to the rule; I could tell right away.  What was this all about? What's her deal sitting on my tadpole bench? Was she just sitting there for because she wanted too? And why would she want to sit there on that 12 inch space? That's all it took. My mind took the bait and ran with it! I was dreaming up conspiracy theories left and right now. Maybe she was trying to distract me, so that someone could reach into my backpack. Clever, girl! I checked around me carefully; no one around. Hmm. Maybe she thought I was someone else. Yeah, that was it. Someone else. Who else could be traveling around in a bright orange raincoat with a green back-back on. Nope, I seem to be the only one in Stockholm wearing such an outfit. Maybe she is hiding from someone? I shouldn't say anything then, it might blow her cover. I kept stealing glances at her to get a read on the situation. Nothing.

It felt like 10 minutes had gone by since she sat down, but it was probably only about 7 seconds. I turned slightly to look at her again. She kind of leaned into me a little bit, but wouldn't turn to look in my direction. Should I say something??? This was kind of different. Weird. Should I feel uncomfortable? Honestly, I don't really. More curiously, I thought, how this was going to play out? Well, maybe she sat down cause she wanted to talk to me? Ok, then should I say something first? What should I say? “Hi” That's original. Or maybe, “Hi, do you want me to move over a bit for you, so you don't have to sit on my lap?” As I was reviewing different things to say, she broke the awkwardness by saying something in Swedish. “I'm sorry I didn't catch that.” I replied; amazed that I could unlimber my tongue to say even that much. Truth be told, I might have just mumbled something, but at least that's what I thought I said.

This time in English, “the experiment is over, thank you!”

There was human testing going on and it was me?! “What do you mean, experiment?”

“I was doing a social experiment on closeness and physical contact in public areas.”

“Oh, was I filmed? Am I going to be on a show?”

“No, its just a school project.”

“OK.”

We talked for the next five minutes about her social project. I was supposedly the first person that she had tested her little experiment on, so there wasn't any data on previous encounters. I answered her questions as honestly as I could. Then she stood up, smiled and thanked me, shook my hand, and smoothly disappeared into the milling crowds.

I sat there on my little tadpole bench, slightly dazed, confused, and with my mind racing. Was it really an experiment? What are the chances that I was randomly picked amongst the hoards of people for her to conduct her little 'experiment'? What if I had never gone to India? I wouldn't be here, that's for sure. And over in India experienced the crowds, shoving, and lack of personal space given by the Indian's? Would my reactions have been different? Yes, I probably would have acted differently. Hmmm. Did I just skew her test results? This is fascinating me now! Maybe I should write a book on this subject. Oh, then again, no, I shouldn't. There are probably about 200 books out on the subject. The last thing we need is another one.

My mind fog slowly lifted and I looked out over the busy street. Time to leave before I am subjected to anymore experiments, I thought. I slowly stood up and stretched. A couple of my vertebra popped nicely. Felt good. As I took the first couple of steps, stiff muscles protesting slightly, I reflected on what lead me to this tadpole bench in the first place.

At least my feet aren't complaining anymore.

You're getting sleepy....your eyelids are heavy....

I've been thinking again. I should learn not too, but it's a bad habit that I find myself doing on occasion and there doesn't seem to be a permanent solution to resolve the problem. It's not an easy habit to break. Drugs, alcohol, tobacco; those were easy habits to break. This one; not so much. So once again, I've been thinking too much. It's been getting progressively worse the last couple of days and yesterday night, once again, hit another record high. On a side note, it would be fun to graph how much I actually think during the day. Hmmm, wonder if there is a way. Anyway, went to bed late and then couldn't seem to turn off the brain activity long enough to get some decent sleep. My eyelids popped open around 3:30 this morning, and eventually I rolled out of bed at 4:30 after realizing that they weren't going to stay closed anymore. The sky was just starting to get light out and the early morning temperatures are perfect for bike riding, so that's just what I did. I went for a ride.

I made some coffee first. In the process, used the last of my good coffee, so now I'm into uncharted and untested coffee territory. Not sure how this is going to pan out. I might have to make sure that the new coffee is up to standards before an actual coffee need arises. I wonder if Jeannette will let me test coffee today! Walked out the door around quarter to 6 and zipped off. Well, not quite zipped. I was just not feeling it today for the first couple of miles. My legs felt sluggish and my energy level was low. Wonder why, huh! As I peddled down the dusty, dirt roads of Lingampally, with arguably the greatest Christian band in the universe, Petra, pounding out beats in my earbuds, my legs slowly limbered up and my mind kicked into gear: I started thinking again.

Over the last couple of days, I have attended a couple training classes here at work that are specifically tailored for Delhi operations. No official word has been delivered or received, to yours truly, regarding the possible base relocation, but I know that it's a definite possibility. The odds are increasingly good, and improving, that I will be relocated up there. Especially since other guys that have received transfer orders have just turned the company down cold.  Not sure if they are going to keep their jobs now.  My dilemma is that I really don't want to go up there and work. I like Hyderabad; as much as one can like any big city in India. From my conversations and inquiries into the best cities to live, as ranked by Indian's, Hyderabad ranks pretty high. Delhi ranks low. I know from first hand experience, being based in Delhi the first month here in India, not much or a long stretch of time I realize, that I didn't enjoy my time there one bit. Now, granted, I was staying in a hotel, in a depressed part of town, I was fairly new and wet behind the ears, and it was winter time, so those factors have to be considered in my (dis)approval rating of Delhi. The air pollution was off the chart and that's probably the biggest factor. There were days when the visibility was less than a ¼ of mile in smog. Winters are notoriously bad months for Delhi, but the rest of the year still has issues.  I had a sinus infection after being there a couple weeks.  Then there is the issue of noise and light pollution. If I moved there, in order to be within working distance of the airport, I would have to move into town somewhere. I couldn't live outside of the city like I do now. No more bike riding, no more quiet evenings, no more darkness when I need it. Not sure it's worth it. The option that might remain is to resign over the potential relocation. Not something that I want to do either, but is this job actually worth it? Not sure at this point, but leaning towards the "no" side of things.

There sure a lot of Peacocks over here. They peck around in the fields and scrub-brush everywhere. I wasn't aware of this, but they are very shy and flighty; taking flight or running away whenever I slow down to look at them. As long as I'm on my bike and not slowing down to look, they just strut around. I saw close to 20 Peacocks this morning. They must like mornings. None of the male birds spread their tails out for me.  I kept looking and waiting for someone to do that, but no one would. It was hard to take their pictures too. I would try to sneak up on them, but I can never get close enough to get some good pictures. One of these days I'll get lucky and find some that aren't paying attention. I wonder what they taste like......

Another thing that I miss having over here is an oven. They don't have ovens. I imagine you might be able to find one if you really looked for one, but the kitchens aren't designed to hold one. There is no spot in the kitchen for an oven.  During my play (research!) sessions on the internet, I have come across some people using 'solar ovens' to cook things. Looks pretty simple and we definitely get enough sunshine for it to work. I might fabricate something and play around. The ingredients to make a solar oven are simple: foil and cardboard, all which are easily accessible and acquirable here. Then I can start cooking things.  Like one of those little pigs that I see running by the side of the road! Tasty! Actually, ick! I see what they eat, and I would rather starve to death than eat one of those pigs. Might as well just go root around in the garbage pile myself.

Time for breakfast and a morning movie! Talk at you guys later.

Mangos!

Kudos to the the worlds greatest invention and of course to Al Gore we must sing our undying praises for his invention: the internet. Without his invention in use over in this country, I would go crazy. It seems like I haven't done anything really for the last 4 weeks except 'surf the net' and sleep. Actually, looking back on things, I should have gone somewhere and spent my time worthy of living. However, the paperwork that I have been waiting for could show up at anytime. Literally anytime. No one really knows the time or date that the authorities will authorize things. There doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason behind the time delays. So it might seem that I have been flitting away my time, and I really have, but only for good reason. And it's not completely true that my productivity is nil. I have been working on company procedures and things of that nature. Stuff that they will never use, but want anyway. Boring and tedious stuff.

Jeannette and I have been watching some old Charlie Chapman movies as of late. They are pretty interesting I must say. It's amazing how you can convey stories and thoughts in a silent movie by using music and acting. We also were noticing and commenting on the living conditions of the citizens of the US during the 1920's, by looking at the condition of the buildings, streets and people in the movie. I know that it's just a movie set, however it does portray a similarity of the condition of the union at that time. I can't help but draw some similarities to the conditions here in India. A quite a few of the living conditions are remarkably similar to those portrayed in the these movies. I can briefly conclude and surmise that India is stuck in the early 1900's. Crazy thinking like this, cause the Brits were here into the 50's, so how can this be? It would appear that India has actually regressed a bit! A big difference between the US and India though, is that the people of the US successfully strove to improve their living conditions, were as here, not so much. There isn't a display of the drive and motivation that was so evident and prominent with the rise of the US.

But they have good mango’s!

Blend this.

My vacation has been extended. Going on 3 weeks now. Not quite sure when I will be able to get back to work either. If you can't tell, I am just dying to return to the salt mines! Actually, the shear boredom of sitting here day after day, waiting for the paperwork to be processed and the phone call telling me that I'm free to cause havoc, is weighing me down. I feel lethargic and lazy all day long. Jeannette is good about making me go to the gym and work out. Otherwise, I would just sit around and surf the net. Thank goodness for that otherwise I would go crazy. I would love to go outside and play, but there is just one small problem. We are currently in the hottest months of the year. It gets up to about 115 in the afternoon. The early mornings are nice though. The temps are right about 85 and then just climb from there. By 10 it's too hot for me to be outside.

I was going to buy a scooter over here. Talked myself into it and everything. Yes I know that it's dangerous, but to get around town it would be nice. Total reliance on a tuk-tuk is frustrating to say the least. Anyway, I won't be buying on this month. Maybe next month. For the limited amount of time that I have left over here, 7 months, I'm not sure that I need one. I'm still weighing the pros and cons. Not sure I want to go home in a pine box. That seems to be the biggest con and surprisingly carries a lot of weight. It seems to trump my pros nicely.

Jeannette and I have joined the gym and pool club over here. It's been great so far. The evenings are the best to go to the gym. I tried mornings and it was packed! No thank you! So I'll stick to the evenings for now. Once I start working again, I probably will not be able to pick my time of attendance, but for now I can. 

In other boring news, I am currently drafting a copy of some new operating procedures for the company. Hopefully some of my work can be useful and not in vain. I've spent quite a few hours pecking away at the keyboard. I think it's good, but it will probably get shot down at the higher level. In order to get off the computer, last time at the store, I picked up an artists pad and some pencils. I think I might try to get back into sketching again. I have the time for sure. 

Since being here I've realized that I need to spend my time differently when I return back home. I've realized that I need to spend more time away from home doing other things, spending time with others, and making my time count. But the funny thing is, as I sit here and think of all these things, I think of things that I need, or want, to do back home. Then I make lists of things to do! Crazy. So once again I have lists of things to do back home. I have toned down though and realize that I need to be a little more realistic in my approach to projects. I simply do not have enough time to do everything. Sad, but true. If there was a way to clone myself or figure out a way to survive on less sleep......

I just love funny events and there is no shortage of them here.  We went to buy a blender the other day. They had close to 15 display models out for viewing. We cruised around looking at this one and that one. Then we found one that we liked and asked a store employee, that was conveniently hoovering 13 inches away from my face, how much it was. “That's not for sale,” he said.

“What do you mean, not for sale?”

Head waggle and then again “that's not for sale.”

“OK, yes this one in my hand, but how about one in a box?”

“No, Sir.”

“There isn't one in a box somewhere?”

“No, Sir.”

“Is there one in the back, that's in a box, that I could buy?”

“No, Sir.”

“Well, are they not in stock right now?”

“No, Sir”

“Well, when is it going to be stocked?”

“We don't stock those anymore.”

“Ever??”

“No, Sir.”

“So this one in my hand is not ever going to be stocked here in the store again, ever?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Then why is it out here?”

Head waggle.

“Can I buy this one since it's the last one then?”

“No, Sir.”

“Well why is it out here then?”

Head waggle.

“OK, can you please show me one that you do sell then, instead of looking at the ones that you just have on display for fun?”

They had about 6 actual blenders for sale.

The tower looks...........crooked

Oh, I can't even begin to think how long it's been since I've written a chapter in the blog book. Its been awhile. It would take ages to relay to you my life these last few weeks. Sufficient to say that the highs in my life have been as extreme as the lows. I'll relate the highs, because that's better.

Jeannette and I just got back from 3 weeks in Italy! That was fun! I'll talk about that.  It was a good time to visit the southern part, ie Rome, but the northern part was still on the cold and rainy side of things. The rain was very welcome though (It hasn't rained in India for quite some time now. At least since I've been here anyway). We had planned slightly ahead for this rainy weather and packed raincoats. Or should I say, I packed rain coats. Jeannette conveniently left her's in Washington. So she borrowed my spare one. Which, it turns out, is the only one that actually keeps the water out. The coat that I used pretended to bead up and keep out the water, but it was actually working in cahoots with the rain. What was really going on is that it was simply funneled to the inside of my coat where it could soak into my dry clothes. Nice little set up they had going on.

Our trip started out by flying out of Hyderabad nice and early to London, where we caught a connecting flight to Rome. The day before we left I had gone into town and exchanged a pile of money in Euro's, using the convenient local Mafia to give me a terrific exchange rate. We then took our smaller pile of money home, divided it up, and stored it in our own little hiding places for use on the trip. I hid my stash so well that when we arrived at the airport to fly out the next day, I couldn't find it. Practically tore my bag apart looking for it and almost canceled our trip when I finally realized that I left it in the apartment. That was not a good start to the trip. Wasn't sure if I could pull money out with my India bank card, but I was relieved to find out that I could. Would have been a short trip if I couldn't have!

Jeannette and I decided for this trip to try some new and experimental things:

1. carry just enough stuff to fit into one medium size backpack;
2. stay in B&B's, not hotels;
3. travel by train and by foot, not rental car;
4. have no real itinerary, but rather make day to day arrangements as we went;

Turns out that my backpack really wasn't that light, but it worked pretty good. We stayed in B&B's when we could and that turned out pretty well, with mixed results of course. We rented a scooter in Pisa for 3 days, so we could zip around in the country for awhile. Our B&B in Pisa was about 10km from town, on the coast, so we thought that it would just be easier to get around too. Worked great 2 of the 3 days. One day it rained too hard for us to venture out. So instead, we just hung out inside and read our books. The traveling without itinerary was fun, because we didn't stress ourselves out with time constraints and deadlines. We didn't even have return tickets to India when we left, because we weren't sure what city we were going to finish up our vacation in! But having a little structure is good and kept us from getting bored and lazy. Our trip plans, the ones we actually had, were modified just before leaving Rome. We were originally planning on taking the train through France and up to Holland. That changed once we found out how much the train tickets were going to cost! I guess that's one thing that we should have checked on before starting our vacation. So we just made the decision to stay in Italy and city hop. Rome, Florence, Pisa, lots of little towns, Venice, Verona, Geneva, and Milan. Those are the main cities. I guess you could say that we backpacked across the country of Italy!

One thing to do for all vacations, though. Check the holiday schedule and see if you are visiting during a major holiday. I knew that Easter Sunday was going to be a big one for Rome, but I forgot that the weekend before, the one we went on, was Palm Sunday and probably the second biggest weekend for Rome. It was packed! Not really something that I wanted to deal with and I got crabby with all those people. If I wanted to be crushed by a mass of people I would have just stayed in India!

So I will highlight the highs and lows of our trip. Highs first:

1. clean air, clean county, green grass, and rain;
2. seeing my Sister and Brother-in-Law in Rome;
3. the B&B in Florence and Pisa;
4. visiting the ruins and sites in Rome;
5. eating some of the most delicious food in some cute alley;
6. terrific train and bus systems;
7. relaxing with a good book;
8. not having people stare at you;
9. driving a scooter through the Italy countryside;
10. Gondola ride in Venice;
11. climbing up to the top of the Leaning Tower of Pisa.

The not so good parts of the trip:

1. toe blisters;
2. crowds of people and waiting in lines;
3. the B&B in Geneva;
4. being tired and crabby; 
5. leaving to come back to India.

But wait, the adventure doesn't end there. For the flight back into Hyderabad we chose Qatar Airlines, because they have conveniently scheduled an airplane from Milan – Doha – Hyderabad. Very convenient. But for some reason right before we were ready to push out of the gate, the pilots started talking and went on about “ATC says, blah blah blah, can't go, blah blah blah, sorry for the delay, blah blah blah.” One hour and thirty minutes later we finally leave Milan.  Then they didn't hold our seats on the Hyderabad flight from Doha.  So although we made the connection time, barely, they didn't have seats for us. But what they did have was a free hotel room and excellent breakfast, lunch, and dinner buffets for us.  So we waited until the following day and subsequent next flight. Not too bad. It was pretty hot in Doha, so we didn't venture out far or for very long. It was an unexpected, but fun detour.

So, would I or will I ever return to Italy. If given the chance in a few years, yes. It is a lovely place to visit. I loved my time there. Next time,  I probably won't stay for more than two weeks though. Towards the end of the three weeks I started to get slightly tired of it all.  Traveling is hard work.  Plus, Italian food is great, but it tends to be the same and it's hard to find other types of food to eat while there. It's expensive to vacation there too. Not as bad as Australia, but close. However, I would recommend it without a moments notice though. Get out and see the world.

"It's protected?"

Today was the date of my Indian Aviation Medical Exam. How exciting! I have been waiting for this day for awhile now; never thought it would actually get here. But here it is. For those of you wondering why I am so excited for a medical exam I'll tell you. It's not necessarily the exam, but rather the trip and overnight in Bangalore that I'm looking forward too. One of the many rumors that floats around from time to time, one that actually has some merit to it, is the possibility of an aircraft base in Bangalore. When I received my contract from SpiceJet, this was one of the three bases mentioned. So far, bases in Hyderabad and Chennai have been created. So this trip was one way to scope out the landscape and area to see if Bangalore would be a good fit for me.

Anyway, because I did the medical today, I'll tell you about that too. It's a little mundane and boring, but I'll tell you anyway. The exam takes place at the Air Force Base in Bangalore. It's about a hour drive from the hotel that we stay. The procedure is to wake up and leave the hotel by 06:30AM, which entails getting up at 06:25 and rushing to the lobby, to get to the base by 07:30. Then we check in at the guard station. They issue us “visitor” passes, after they verify our passport numbers, and take all our electronics. Phones, laptops, cameras; things like that. I just left my whole bag with them and took just my paperwork. Only Expats get the medical done at the Air Force Base, but we have to have a company chaperone, so they usually send another pilot to go with us. This time it was a terrific FO from the 737, Saurabh Singh, based out of Delhi.

The day was pretty easy. We floated around doing little tests here and there. There were about 7 different tests all together. The info that I received lead me to believe that I would do the same tests as I did in the pre-medical test, which took place in Delhi in the beginning of February. But once again, as with many things here in India, the real life experience didn't match the info. The only two things that were common between the test's were the trip to the bathroom with the cup and a blood test. Oh, and I guess one more thing; sitting. There was a great deal of that. That was actually the largest consumer of our time. I'll have you know that I didn't waste that time like so many people would have. No, I deduced that it was a good time to catch up on a little napping; do some reading; a little more napping; walk to the washroom; and do a little more napping. Time well spent.

Things are going pretty well around here. The minor things still sometimes drive me crazy and the lack of organization is frustrating as well. Things that I have been trying to figure out how to deal with. I'm slowly dealing and getting better. So imagine my surprise to find myself deep in trouble the other day! Yes, can you believe it! The crazy thing is, is that it all started so innocently; like many of my actions do these days. Now, I will confess that I sometimes, I repeat sometimes, not all the time mind you, seek out a little trouble and try to cause some commotion. But I never try to do bad things; just tease and have fun mostly. So anyway, my trouble started with the annoying sound of a hungry mosquito flying around my head trying to bite me. Well I couldn't have that. Who knows, that mosquito could be carrying malaria or the West Nile virus or something worse! So I squashed it. Flat. Then I noticed another. So I squashed that one flat as well. Soon I was squashing them left and right. The palm of my hand was sore and red from the constant and repeated slaps to the wall, but I didn't care. I was in my element. No mosquito was safe from my wrath and fury! Things were looking pretty bleak for the mosquito population in that room until my FO walked in. “What are you doing?” She asked me.

“Pancaking mosquitoes.” I replied.

“What?”

“Squishing mosquitoes.”

A look of horror spread across her face. “Killing them?”

“Yep.”

“No! Stop! You can't!”

“Why not? They're driving me crazy and trying to bite me.”

“No, you can't; you're not supposed to.”

“Why not?”

“Because you're not supposed to kill anything intentionally.”

I didn't see that one coming at all. Took me just a second to reply. “Sorry, I didn't know that mosquitoes fell into the protected category.” I thought for a few more seconds and then asked, “how about flies? Are they protected too?”

“Yes.”

“Even if they try to bite me?”

“Yes.”

"I can't claim self defense?"

"No."

“Oh.......OK.  You know I'll probably just wait until you leave the room."

"I'm not leaving now!"

"Oh.......OK." 

 

I guess everything falls into the protected category. Good to know for next time!